3 DBT Skills to Cope with the Holidays
The holidays are coming which often means, stress! Here are four DBT skills that you can use when you need to brighten your spirits.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is an essential DBT skill. Practicing mindfulness is choosing to be present in the moment, without having judgment. If you find yourself around family members that know how to push your buttons (there is always one) then practice being present in the moment and not focusing on how their behavior is impacting your emotions. When you choose mindfulness you get to decide what thoughts and emotions have power over you or not.
Self Soothe with 5 Senses
When emotions feel overwhelming utilize distress tolerance skills to feel more grounded.
Taste - grab a snack, chew on a piece of gum and notice the flavors
Touch - Wash your hands and feel the water touching your skin, cuddle a baby, pet a dog and notice the softness of their fur
Smell - smell the food being cooked, go outside and smell the plants, notice the different smells
See - Look around the room and notice what you see, go outside and notice the different textures on the plants, notice the night sky and describe what you see.
Hear - Take a break from your environment and listen to your favorite or soothing music, have a conversation with someone you enjoy speaking to and listen with intent. Pay attention to the sounds you are hearing.
Radical Acceptance
When experiencing difficult emotions or a situation that is difficult you can practice radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is accepting the situation for what is is without judgment. When we practice radical acceptance we are not saying we agree with it, give it permission to happen again or don’t care. We are simply saying to ourselves that we are not going to allow that situation to have power over us. If experiencing difficulty run over the list below to help you decide which option may help you feel better.
Change the situation - can you change the situation you are in? Sometimes this may be an option and other times it may not. Can you leave the room? Take a break?
Shift Perspectives - Are you able to shift your perspective of the situation? This may look like practicing empathy and compassion instead of judgment.
Radically Accept - Accept the situation for what it is without judgment.
Suffer until you are ready to accept - Sometimes we need to experience emotions long enough for us to accept them. However, try to not stay in this because it doesn’t offer any reward. While it is the easiest option, it doesn’t offer any change to your emotion or situation.
The holidays may be stressful and if you find yourself struggling try to embrace the positive aspects of the season. Maybe hold the door open for a stranger and remember how a simple act of kindness can really brighten not only someone else’s day but, your’s as well.
Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!